Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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