woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize