Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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