I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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