very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize