You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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