He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize