the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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