You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize