Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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