I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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