I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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