god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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