Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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