Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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