Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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