I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
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he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
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I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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