this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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