found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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