after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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