I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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