I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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