You really coming over, don't trick.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize