I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize