I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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