I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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