all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize