I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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