you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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