Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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