then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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