Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You need a sexual gate keeper
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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