i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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