I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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