So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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