I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize