Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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