PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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