We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize