Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize