People in love make me want to vomit
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize