If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize