I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize