My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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