so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize