I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My pussy is not your playground.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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