i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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