you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize