And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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