do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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